Proper Use of Knowledge
by A-chan5
Summary: Z/C/S Cloud finds summon materia that call forth the last people he'd expected to see again.
1. Zack

**Title:** Proper use of Knowledge  
**Rating:** PG  
**Pairing:** Cloud/Zack and mentions of C/Z/S  
**Summary:** Cloud finds a summon materia, but it didn't summon anything he expected.  
**Note:** Rough, not proof-read, but I like it enough to post it.

Cloud had never started searching for materia again since Sephiroth's third defeat, at least not with the same zeal as before Meteor. He did not look away if he stumbled open clues and he kept his reflexes sharp, but his delivery service kept him busy and he liked it that way. The hum-drum of normal life was pleasantly numbing, with only the roar of his bike in his ears and the smell of burnt fuel.

It would be lying to say that it didn't bore him out of his skull on many occasions. In those times he just rode out with Final Tsurugi and scoured the continent for a day or weeks until he was satiated and felt like he could fit in Tifa's tension-filled four walls again. He was content enough, but it never felt like he could get his brain wrapped around peace, around tranquility, or around life with Tifa when he always felt a step behind what was expected of him after all this time. He never could get rid of the feeling that something just wasn't _right_.

Cloud had taken profit of a lull in business to race out of his trapped feeling. He'd gone far south, beyond Junon and just west of Fort Condor in broken-edged cliffs overlooking a frothy sea. He'd stopped counting how long it'd been since he'd left. He hadn't answered his phone. The only things alive he encountered were monsters he quickly dispatched on sight.

It was early in the afternoon when Cloud stopped Fenrir at the edge of a sharp drop, letting the engine purr in case he needed it warm and fast. He stepped forward and lowered himself on his knees to keep his balance against the powerful wind before inching carefully towards the edge. He'd swear he'd seen something against the cliff side, like a mirror reflecting the sun. Except there were no human habitations in this area, narrowing to a few appreciable possibilities what it could be.

The sun was in his eyes, making it hard to see, but Cloud thought he knew what he was looking for. Squinting, he stretched his neck. The cliff side was pock-marked with rocky depressions and protruding boulders creeping with small plants. It slanted outwards, so that if anything fell it had a chance to be able to stop its fall before it plunged into the water. That way, if the source of the gleam was of any interest at all, Cloud figured he'd been able to monkey a short way down to fetch it.

Still, the cliff was not immediately forthcoming in its secret. Cloud squinted harder and stretched farther, and only after contorting himself over the drop more than it was safe did he find what he was looking for. Hidden by an overhanging rock was a small hole in the cliff through which reflected the colored light of materia. Cloud had seen it enough to recognize it. He carefully slid himself back on the hard, solid ground and sat, considering.

He wasn't sure the mako would have flowed there long enough to concentrate into materia, or that it would be anything useful at all. In both cases, he'd be taking a big risk for nothing. Still, there was the chance that it _was_ something powerful, and from personal experience Cloud had figured the harder it was to find and reach a naturally-produced materia, the better it was. He resisted the urge to look down again and instead lifted his face against the wind. It was strong, but not too strong, and what else did he have to do around here in any case? Cloud reached over his shoulder and undid the leather straps holding his swords on his back, carefully setting them on the ground beside his bike. He killed the engine, not knowing how long it'd take him to climb down there, and let himself wonder about his own foolishness before walking back to the cliff.

The climb wasn't so hard after all; there were plenty of holds. Cloud reached the hidden hole in short order and with only one or two near slips. It was small, barely big enough to fit both of his hands, yet it probably ran deeper through the rock since the mako wasn't overflowing over the cliff. Cloud peered closer and forcefully ignored how the proximity with mako made his own mako-choked veins thrum painfully; he could just make out a small materia through the green haze. He stuck his hand in and out rapidly and dropped the materia in a pocket without even looking.

He'd keep the surprise for when he was once again on safer ground.

The materia was warm against his thigh as he climbed back up. He took his time shouldering his swords, forcing himself to wait and build the expectation, and sat on his bike before finally reaching down in his pockets and taking out the materia in question. His breath caught when the bright red of a summon flashed back at him, uncommonly warm and_ comforting_ in his hand. He hadn't had that feeling from a materia since Phoenix, yet it was still different. Cloud clicked it in his bracer and kicked Fenrir back to life.

There was plenty of monster life around here. He doubted he'd have very long to wait before he found out what it summoned.

--

Like predicted, it wasn't long before Cloud snared a monster big and fast enough not to be afraid of Fenrir. The cat-like creature stopped when Cloud did, facing him with a deep-throated hiss that might have been intimidating to the local fauna, but missed its mark against him. He didn't even bother taking his sword; he simply reached for the _unknown_ in his bracer and released its magic.

For a moment Cloud almost thought it hadn't worked. Normally summons showed up with impressive displays of power, yet it took him a second to realize that the wolf's howl he heard in the distance and the warm, soft breeze against his back were this summon's warning trumpets. The wind grew to a sudden, powerful gust that made him lurch forward and flinch, and when he opened his eyes there was a man's silhouette between him and a surprised monster.

The first emotion that registered was plain surprise; he'd never seen summons be so…human in form. That out of the way, however, Cloud recognized the back of the man in question, knowing its shape as much as his own, and a thick ball rose in his throat until he had trouble breathing.

This had to be someone's crappy idea of a joke.

The summon –Cloud couldn't bring himself to say the name— reached over his shoulder for a sword that should be embedded in a cliff overlooking Midgar's ruins, and with a few easy but so powerful movements dispatched the monster. He didn't fade away after holstering his sword again, like any normal summon would do. Instead he turned to face Cloud and a slow, deep grin conveying too many emotions split his face.

"You don't look happy to see me."

Cloud realized he was sitting there, dumbstruck and gaping, but he couldn't bring himself to smile. That'd mean all this was real.

"Zack?" he managed to croak, and the summons had absolutely no right to nod and look so happy and relieved.

"You betcha, kid. Nice bike, by the way."

There was an uneasy moment of silence during which Cloud couldn't stick two thoughts together probably. He just stared at Zack, tall and confident like he'd always been, even during the bad times, and wondered when he'd wake up

Zack shuffled uneasily after a moment and his grin slipped a bit, as if he doubted Cloud's own pleasure at seeing him. It wasn't that Cloud wasn't happy. He simply couldn't bring himself to believe it was really happening.

"How?" he finally asked, breaking the heavy silence. The act of summoning and seeing Zack appear instead just didn't add up in the logical equation.

Regaining some of his poise, Zack pointed towards Cloud's arm. He hadn't moved yet, seeming afraid to spook him. That knowledge hurt Cloud far too much than it had any right to.

"The materia. You're now the holder of the unique example of Zack materia!" he laughed, his voice full-throated and truly delighted. If Zack had ached for life as much as Cloud had ached for the long rest sometimes, than he understood his cheer.

Still, Cloud had guessed as much, yet it didn't explain all that much how Zack had managed to make himself into a summon from the afterlife. True, he didn't much know about how materia worked, exactly, aside from the fact that they were supposed to contain the knowledge of the Ancients.

His trail of thoughts derailed violently and he stared wide-eyed as an idea as ludicrous as improbable took form in his brain.

Zack seemed to have followed his progress and smiled knowingly.

"Aerith's been working on it for a long time now. She says it was hard concentrating the knowledge in one suitable place, but she got it done!" He shook his head, impressed and sheepish. "I don't have to leave unless I want to, though technically I have to return to limbo-world for a bit, but the lapse of time is long. The other summons just don't have any reason to hang around. Oh, and if anybody else gets a hand on my materia or a duplicate—" Zack waved his hand in admonition against such an act, "—I have to answer the call, so you make sure it never happens!"

Cloud was dumbstruck, to say the least. It made too much sense. The Ancient's knowledge, Aerith, a mako fountain, the Lifestream… It might just be real.

Zack's sheepish look softened into understanding and a deep longing that was tired of being patient. "Cloud? I'm real. Really."

Cloud breathed deeply out of his nose and got off Fenrir. He walked slowly, forcing himself not to hesitate, and stopped before Zack. He didn't have to look up so much anymore to be able to stare him in the eye. Time had passed. Mako-glowing eyes looked back, open and _expectant. _He inhaled, and from this close he could smell Zack, his familiar heady tang. So he wasn't dreaming. He never remembered those details in dreams.

He didn't know what to say, but Zack saw the look in his eyes and understood. With a deep, relieved chuckle he grappled him in a bear hug he didn't have to hold back anymore, not like when Cloud was only a trooper, and Cloud returned it fiercely.

Much later in the day found the both of them sitting with their backs to a sharply inclined hill and their hands over a small fire. Cloud sat silently, his thoughts a mad jumble like he hadn't felt since before Meteor, but misgivings had started cropping up like slow-dripping poison. He wasn't reconsidering Zack being there. He was reconsidering Zack.

He glanced to the side. Zack was staring at his hands over the fire with a strange expression of awe and comfort. He'd respected Cloud's silence for the most part, but it wouldn't last. Zack never let him wallow in his worry too long, if at all.

A moment passed, the silence growing heavier, but Cloud couldn't bring himself to break it. When he heard Zack lean back with a heavy sigh, he knew the decision had never been in his hands from the start.

"That much time has passed, and you've still got that frown between your eyes whenever you're worried about something." Zack smiled faintly and reached over to push Cloud between the eyes, startling him. "What's wrong?"

Cloud clenched his hands reflexively and resisted the urge to bite his lip. He had no choice to ask, he knew, otherwise this silent awkwardness that had settled between them like an unwanted guest would never lift. Cloud wanted it gone.

"Zack, is it really you?" He raised his hand to forestall the taller man's squawk of perplexed surprise. "I mean, is it _you_, or just a mako-creation made with Aerith's version of yourself?"

Cloud had no clue how summon materia worked, but if only her knowledge of Zack, her take on who he was, had been transferred to the materia, then this wasn't Zack. It was only someone else's impression of him.

Zack blinked, caught by surprise, but eventually he smiled, understanding. He'd never needed explanations to understand Cloud's moods, what he was thinking most of the time. It had been unsettling at first, but eventually it became comforting not to have to speak his mind all the time to be understood.

"It's me. I don't know how Aerith did it, but I remember being in the Lifestream, how it felt." He paused, recalling something beyond Cloud's comprehension. Being dead, but aware and watchful of the living. "I remember leaving it, too. Aerith wouldn't know how that felt for me. Besides," he added with a light in his eyes that was not mako, "she told me she was binding my soul." He laughed. "You're not getting rid of me so easily!"

A weight lifted off Cloud's shoulders and he let himself laugh quietly. It was surreal, and he guessed he was still in a state of shock because he wasn't reacting more to Zack being _here_, but he was finally starting to feel the simple, overjoyed elation of seeing him in the flesh.

"How did it feel? In the Lifestream, I mean," he asked. His only venture in the Lifestream had nearly cost him his life; he was curious to see how it was for those who belonged in it.

Zack made a humming sound as he considered. "I don't know." He shrugged, but it didn't dispel the shadow that crept behind his eyes. "When I died…well, I guess I joined everybody else in the cycle. I wasn't unaware, but I can't say I was conscious either." Zack exhaled deeply. "Sorry man, but I can't explain. I only know starting from the point when suddenly I was with Aerith, and she kept me so we could look out for your sorry ass. And you, Cloud, attract way more trouble than is healthy!"

He couldn't join that laughter. The only real trouble he'd ever attracted came in the form of the same man, dead three times over by his hands. Hands that had caressed and loved, before they were forced to kill. Cloud shrunk on himself and shook his head.

"I'm glad Aerith got to you," he said honestly, maybe trying to hide the conflict he was so used to keeping secret by now. Of course, Zack saw right through it. It figured, considering the man had been in the same position, only he didn't survive to repeat the feat twice.

Silently, Zack scooted over, closing the two awkward feet that had been separating them. It wasn't awkward anymore, just painfully heavy with bad history. Zack slung an arm across his shoulders, and Cloud found himself leaning gratefully into the embrace. He hadn't realized he'd missed this so much.

"I can't say when it'll happen, but Aerith is working on Seph now," Zack said softly, his voice pained but heavy with hope and confidence.

Cloud couldn't help a surprised jerk. He craned his neck to look up at Zack. The man grinned deviously.

"She can do with him what she did with me, but first she's got Jenova's remains to deal with, and their influence on him. That done, she'll be able to get us an authentic Sephiroth materia." Zack laughed at the sheer pleasure of the possibility. "Sephiroth, Cloud, not whatever he became because of Jenova!"

The possibility was too tempting to embrace just yet, but still, it had happened with Zack, why not Sephiroth? Aerith had been able to cure geostigma, Jenova's poison. If anyone could battle Jenova's remains, it was the last Ancient. Maybe, in a few years, Cloud would see Sephiroth again, and this time it wouldn't be to put a sword through his chest.

"That would be great," Cloud conceded with a small smile that had almost become unfamiliar.

Zack shifted against him, and when Cloud looked up their faces were almost touching. Impulsively, and because now he could, after so long, he inched up and kissed Zack. The other man wrapped his arm around him tight, tight enough to hurt anybody else, and Cloud returned the favor just as hard. The kiss intensified and they started breathing faster and heavier.

This is what had been missing, he realized, what had made him periodically run out of Tifa's house. But now Zack was here, and they had catching up to do.

Cloud unwrapped his arms to push Zack backwards, oddly thrilled when the other fell on his back with a groan of surprise. This time, it wasn't because Zack was willing to go down, to let Cloud push him around, ever mindful of his strength as SOLDIER. Cloud was dragged right along, but he didn't mind. He settled on Zack's stomach and leaned down with a deep frown that was half desire, half sternness.

"You are never going away," he said, almost as an order, and under him Zack raised an eyebrow and tested his liberty by bucking his hips to try and throw him off. Cloud kept him solidly pinned down, occasioning a deep-throated, purr-ish laugh that scent familiar goosebumps of lust skittering up his back.

"Unless you never summon me back, I won't." Zack raised his head and kissed Cloud, and while he was distracting him with his tongue, kicked sharply with his knees, flipping Cloud over his head and following him so that their roles were reversed.

"And you," he purred, his hands snaking under his shirt, "are always going to keep summoning me back."

Cloud answered by fighting to roll Zack around again, kissing him and getting him out of his gear at the same time. They didn't need vocal answers anymore. Neither would ever waste the impossible chance they had been given and the promise of more yet to come.


	2. Sephiroth

**Title:** Proper use of Knowledge, chapter 2  
**Rating:** G  
**Pairing:** C/Z/S  
**Summary:** Cloud found Zack, now they go hunting for one last summon materia.  
**Note:** Kinda rough again, more or less proofread.

The small man backed away slowly, his eyes darting from riders to chocobos and back as he tried to keep track of all the possible weapons displayed before him. His hand itching for the back of his belt –no doubt for some hidden dagger or something--, the guy tried for an innocent, friendly smile. It turned out sickly.

"You guys need some help?" he asked nervously. Zack heeled his gold a few steps closer, just to see the idiot squirm as his eyes flashed with panic.

"As a matter of fact, yeah. We're looking for something. Maybe you could give us a hand?"

"Su—sure," the little man stammered, trying again for that smile and not looking any more convincing. "What is it?"

"A materia," Cloud spoke before Zack could. The blond swung off his bird's back but looped the reins around the saddle. Hildr would know she could move and attack, then. Zack did the same, though he seriously doubted it'd come to that.

"I don't know much about materia," the man replied, and Zack commanded him for his more-or-less steady voice, but the way he suddenly hid his left forearm wasn't very subtle. No points for that.

"A red materia," Cloud continued, stepping just close enough to be in reach with Final Tsurugi. His arms were crossed, but Zack knew the stance. Cloud would be ready to move at a second's notice, especially when furious like that.

"I don't--!"

Zack sighed, cutting off the man as efficiently as if he'd swung his sword at him. Displaying a nonchalance he was far from feeling –Cloud wasn't the only one pissed as hell right now—Zack waved his hand to keep the idiot silent.

"Look, this is the story. You've just found a red materia, and it so happens to be ours. We'd like to have it back," he said with a measure of his anger sharpening the last of his words.

The man's smile slipped and was replaced by a snarl. "I'm the one who got it out of that pool, it's mine! Now scram before I shout down the village on your heads, thieves!"

Zack looked sideways at Cloud, catching a quick glance of his tightening eyes and jaw. He was going to pounce soon, he knew, and though Zack wasn't adverse to the idea himself, he'd like to avoid armed conflict if he could. Fighting villagers when you tried not to really injure any of them was harder than it appeared.

"If you knew where to find it, you knew we were watching over it. You just waited until we had our backs turned before grabbing it. It's too bad for you, but our backs are never turned for very long. Now hand it over," Zack ordered, extending his hand. There was no more fake amusement in his tone.

The thief swallowed audibly and did the very unwise move of backing away. "Don't step closer!" he yelled as Cloud moved forward. "I'm going to summon!" he threatened, finally brandishing his small, crappy bracer in which was shining the deep red of a summon materia.

As if he'd be able to summon anything with so little skills. Still, the guy had gone to the trouble of displaying the materia for them, Zack wasn't going to waste the opportunity. He was in the thief's face in two quick steps the other didn't even see and had a firm grip on his arm before he could even yelp in surprise.

"Sorry mate, but this is out of your league." The bracer was just cheap metal and snapped easily under his fingers. Zack tossed the precious materia at Cloud. "Thanks," he added with a fake, very cheerful smile for the thief as he let go of his arm.

"You bastards--!" the thief gasped, favoring his now bracer-less arm. So maybe Zack had bruised it a little as he took care of the bracer. It was nothing compared to what the smoldering, white-hot anger and fear in him had asked for, though.

Very purposefully, Cloud pushed his sleeve up to expose the small but very strong bracer cinched tight on his forearm. Cloud fitted the new summon materia besides Zack's own.

Finally understanding exactly what he was facing, the thief licked his lips, reconsidering the virtues of challenging them any further. With a final curse, he spun around and ran.

Zack watched until he was completely gone before heaving a deep sigh, feeling tension and anger and fear ebb out of his shoulders. He turned to Cloud, who had that glazed look he took whenever he was trying to figure out a new materia.

"So? How does it look?" he asked eagerly.

It had to be the right materia. Fifteen years, five of which were spent around this area, waiting and watching as the summon finished forming right in the mountainous region where Aerith had warned them it would be susceptible to appear. It had to be Sephiroth.

"I'll have to summon to know," Cloud said, shaking his head a little. "Let's get out of here."

"Right. That guy might just raise a mob after all," Zack said, a little amused, because he'd sure like seeing anybody try to chase down gold chocobos.

The village was lost in the shadows of a scraggly mountain chain on one side and opened up on rocky plains on the other. They made for the plains and hunted monsters by foot, since none of the usual local, pretty weak beasties were too keen on facing up against gold chocobos. Without them, it wasn't that long until they were attacked.

Zack didn't draw his sword as the pack of vaguely hedgehog-like creatures crawled towards them, spiked backs held up stiff. Instead he waited with baited breath and racing heart as Cloud concentrated and summoned. If it wasn't Sephiroth…well, he didn't know what he'd do, except start searching all over again. He didn't want to; fifteen years was a long time to wait, which was fucking ironic coming from an ageless summon.

His anticipation peeked when the magical energy was finally released. The sky overhead turned dark and ugly, thunder clapping angrily between the clouds. One particular bolt crashed all the way to the ground, blinding him, and when Zack could see again the summon was there before them, facing the now terrorized pack of monsters.

Trailing coat, long naked sword almost as tall as he was: it was Sephiroth as he raised his sword and brought it down in a sweeping arc that felled two monsters, then raised it again to execute seven more strikes with frightening precision and efficiency. The speed and effortlessness and grace were all the same and maybe more. Zack felt something tight knot itself around his guts as the last of the monsters were dispatched. It was Sephiroth, but was it going to be _him_, sane and whole?

However, before the last monster had finished falling in two separate pieces, Sephiroth faded out and was gone.

Zack cursed, hearing it echoed by Cloud. He turned to say something, but his friend was fixing the point where Sephiroth had been with an angry, determined expression.

"Oh no, you don't," he growled almost to himself, and summoned again.

There was the storm and thunder again, but before Sephiroth could realize there was no enemy he was duty-bound to attack, Cloud had stepped forward and into his personal space from behind. That would be suicidal in any other circumstances, but the general did not attack.

"Sephiroth, wait," Cloud said, and Sephiroth's shoulders tensed enough that it could have been the crack of a whip.

"You cannot prevent me from leaving." His voice was low and smooth and even, filled with bottled pain. Zack inhaled deeply, scared he might have interpreted it wrong.

"I'll just summon again, as many times as I need."

There was a moment of hesitation. "You might kill yourself."

"That won't happen if you don't go," Cloud reasoned, obstinate. Zack loved him so much at that moment.

"You know he's stubborn enough to actually do it," Zack said, approaching his old friend and lover almost tentatively. Was Jenova really gone? Sephiroth turned to watch him, watch them both, and his eyes were pinched in a pained, guilty expression that was _alive_. He had his answer.

"It would seem I have no choice." Sephiroth shook his head, but there was something like hope as he regarded them both, something pleading. Zack couldn't help a grin.

"Nope. Come on, let's head back to camp."

--

The camp site had been well chosen. It was nestled near a hollow in the mountain side, protected from the worst of the wind, and set slightly uphill so they had a better view of the surroundings. The fire was small but warm and emitted no smoke, and the hare Zack's chocobo had just seemed to _pluck_ out of a hole in passing was on a spit and smelled delicious compared to the basic travel rations completing the meal.

Despite all that, Sephiroth was far from relaxed. For now Zack and Cloud seemed willing to grant him his silent brooding, but knowing both of them, it wouldn't last long. What would be said, what he would say, he did not know, though.

Cloud was with the chocobos, unsaddling and grooming his bird with a casual hand. It had been quite a shock when Sephiroth had first turned around and seen him. Cloud had grown older, true, but physically he had barely changed since that last encounter. His features were not over thirty, yet Sephiroth had made the effort of keeping track of time in the Lifestream from the moment Aerith had gotten to him. He should be looking much older.

In the end, it had been Cloud's eyes that had convinced Sephiroth it wasn't all just a sorry illusion meant to torment him. Bright from the mako running thicker than blood in his veins –no doubt at least part of the cause of this curious development, though he didn't know any SOLDIER that had ever lived beyond thirty to confirm his theory—they were deep and old and too filled with so many things to be just a figment of his imagination.

Zack plopped down beside him them, as unconcerned as if this was just another mission they happened to be taking together. He started foraging in a saddlebag, not even looking up at the one that had as good as killed him. His casualness baffled him completely.

"You hungry? That little fella won't be cooked in a while, but we've got some dry stuff you can munch on in the meantime," Zack proposed, finally excavating what looked like a squashed energy bar.

"Summons do not need to eat," he said carefully. Was he truly the only who felt the heavy weight of his past actions standing between them?

Zack snorted a laugh and tore the plastic wrapping open. "Nope, but don't worry, a couple of days of seeing Cloud eat and your body'll remember all about it, even if you don't need food. You might as well save yourself the trouble and start enjoying it now. Never let Cloud close to an oven if you want to keep your walls intact, but he sure can cook wild hare well. Why d'you think I taught Ullr to catch them like that?" Zack said impishly, grinning around a mouthful of energy bar.

Sephiroth could only blink, unable to relax. It could not be so easy.

Cloud arrived at that moment, turning the spit before settling on Zack's other side. He gave him an unimpressed look that wanted to be amused.

"Ullr just likes grabbing anything that's small and fast and runs under his beak."

"Not quite true, he doesn't grab kids when they flock around him."

There was definite amusement there. "You had to teach him _that_. The village of Skyle still won't let us in if he's around."

Zack laughed openly and threw his wrapper in the fire. "Eventually they'll all grow too old and forget about it."

Sephiroth was having trouble following the friendly banter between them. Time had not affected their relationship in the least; a casual touch of the arm, leaning closer to speak, it was all very obvious. Sephiroth felt the rift separating him from them, already impossibly wide, grow even larger.

For a moment he considered leaving. He could easily fade away, leave the both of them in peace for once and for all. Maybe if he did it while he slept, Cloud would forget to summon him back in the morning.

And then Zack threw an arm around his shoulders and leaned closer.

"Alright, boss, you win. I know better than to let you brood yourself crazy. Spit it out."

Sephiroth tensed and edged to the side just a little so he could see Zack better. He hadn't changed either, no more than Cloud. His eyes were smiling and understanding, waiting for an answer and ready to spin it on its head so Sephiroth would have no choice but to agree.

"Why?" he finally asked, drawing away. The contact was meant to be comforting, but Sephiroth felt a traitor accepting it.

Zack let him go, but the smile in his eyes was still there, unfazed. "Do you still hear voices in your head?"

Not for a long time. "No, but—"

"Then you've got your answer," Zack dismissed easily, waving his hand.

Sephiroth frowned, feeling himself grow angry. "It's not so simple. Zack, I would have killed you. You still ended up in Hojo's clutches."

The ex-SOLDIER-now-summon held his gaze steadily, his smile slipping away to be replaced by solemnity. "That's not so simple either, Seph. Don't forget Jenova. I blame her for everything, right along with that bastard Hojo and everyone who played god with you. They're finally gone, I certainly won't keep on brooding about it."

He shook his head. "It still shouldn't have happened. I should have resisted more."

"You didn't kill us," Cloud interrupted, looking at him with no trace of fear or resentment.

"_Three times_, Cloud," Sephiroth ground out, the words paining him even as memories reared their ugly heads. He could still taste the pleasure he'd taken in trying to take Cloud's life that last time, the sheer joy of slicing his blade through his flesh. It made his stomach turn. "My intentions were very clear."

Cloud was not so good at hiding the consequences of those events, it seemed, but it had none of the tension Sephiroth had expected. There were remnants of pain etched too deep to be forgotten, of an old betrayal, but none of it was aimed at him. It still hurt to see them.

"I don't think they were your intentions. Those voices can make you do what _they_ want and make you believe you enjoy it," the blond replied evenly, quirking an ironic little smile that had a lot of the young Cloud in it. "I would know."

"I'm to blame for most of that as well," Sephiroth pointed out coldly.

"Not really," Zack interrupted, raising one finger. "If Jenova is responsible for fucking with your head –which she is—and implanting mad ideas like poking pointy metal sticks into us, then she's responsible for implanting the thought of implanting mad ideas into Cloud's head. You're just the poor helpless intermediary!"

Sephiroth wished Zack's logic could really be so simple. "I still listened to her, let her take control—"

"Hey, Seph, slow down there," Zack cut in, patient smile firmly in place. "Stop feeling guilty for everything. You had your genes fucked up with before you were even born and had an alien powerhouse mess up with your head. That makes you seriously outnumbered, so nobody can blame you for losing that battle."

"It was a battle I could not afford to lose. I almost obliterated this planet."

Zack snorted with humor. "I don't see you losing for anything smaller than that."

"_Zack_—"

"I know, be serious. I am, boss." Zack leaned closer again, and Sephiroth had to either stand his ground or fall off his rock. "Everybody makes mistakes and loses battles. Considering who you are, it's only normal that your losses are going to be bigger than average."

"I hurt you both," Sephiroth found himself whispering, voice uncontrollably hoarse. "I would have killed you, and in the end you both suffered so much."

His guilt, his remorse and pain, were laid bare and he could not look at them, could not bear to see accusations or hatred in their eyes. Instead he looked at the glowing embers of the fire, waiting for the judgment to fall. Surely even Zack, now forced to be a summon to live, couldn't just blithely forgive him after all this.

The silence stretched for just a few moments that felt like an eternity. It was finally broken by the creak of leather as Cloud leaned forward. From the edge of his vision, Sephiroth saw him check the hare before breaking off a leg. It was promptly thrust under his nose.

"It's pretty good," the blond boy assured him, settling in a squat beside him and just holding the meat while Sephiroth tried to understand what was going on. "Without you, I doubt I ever would've had the motivation or means to breed a chocobo that'd catch so many small animals for me to cook. I've had plenty of practice preparing them since Ullr came along."

Sephiroth had forgotten how to gape long ago. Instead he looked up and stared, absolutely surprised. Cloud was still holding the damn thing, waiting patiently for him to take it. Finally he did, but it was more to give himself something to do than for any desire to eat.

There was a muffled guffaw beside him and Sephiroth didn't have to look to know that Zack was biting down hard not to laugh aloud. In the end he still did, throwing his arm back across his shoulders and leaning heavily against him as his body shook with mirth.

"I fail to see what's so funny," he droned. He wondered how the conversation had gone from his admission of guilt to this, with no logical transition to connect them.

"All these years and Cloud still hasn't lost his touch. Give up now, Seph, you're never going to win," Zack chortled, snatching the hare leg from his still fingers and chomping down on it eagerly.

Sephiroth looked back at Cloud. He was wearing a long-suffering expression, but underneath it he was clearly proud. The general narrowed his eyes.

"I'm not in the habit of surrendering," he said, letting his voice dip low in slight threat. Zack tensed momentarily against him and suddenly Sephiroth remembered exactly what they had been discussing before it turned to this. Of course Zack would take it as a real and possibly lethal threat and react accordingly.

However, the hand that snaked down his side to settle on his hip before he could stand and move away and the warm breath that ghosted his neck, laughing and ticklish, did not appear threatened in the least.

"We'll see about that. Kid's grown some muscle, he'll give you a hard time if you try being stubborn," Zack stage-whispered, drawing a slightly offended exclamation from Cloud.

"Zack!" Cloud huffed, exasperated. He looked back at Sephiroth, who was finding it hard to ignore Zack's nuzzling of his neck. "What he means is to forget about feeling guilty about what happened. We don't blame you, and we're _not_ going to let you torture yourself about it," he said decisively, turning very serious, but the mood was spoiled when Cloud reached over to pluck the half-eaten hare leg from Zack's now roaming hand with an apologetic grimace.

Indeed, it was rather hard to expect and fear their hatred when he had more or less a lapful of an affectionate Zack. He could not understand how they could brush it all off so easily and accept him so eagerly, but he was starting to believe that it was real and that they were not just tolerating him, but _wanting_ him back, as well. It was a priceless gift he did not deserve but was too weak to refuse.

"Kid's right," Zack laughed against his skin. "Now that you're back, we're not letting you out of our sight. Not even for a second."

The hare leg was gone as Cloud rose and put his hands on Sephiroth's knees, leaning down so close that their faces were a mere few inches apart.

"Never again," Cloud hissed, intense and serious. His eyes glowed even more in the gloom, mako-bright. Sephiroth had seen it as an eternal sign of the damage he'd caused. He couldn't fathom the thought right now.

He'd also gut himself with the Masamune before letting anything happen to them. "Never again," he promised.


End file.
